By CAROLINE SPOSTO

Dear Caroline,

My new boyfriend recently pointed out that I have trouble receiving compliments. He’s right. Compliments make me want to cringe. Last night, he told me I looked beautiful in my new dress. I responded by making a joke at my own expense, which spoiled the romantic mood and seemed to hurt his feelings a little. I have always been this way. What do you suggest I do?

…Clumsy in Queretaro

Dear Clumsy,

Glad you came to me instead of a therapist. Follow my advice and you can put this problem behind you fast, forever, and for free.

If there’s one clear indicator of social grace, it’s the way someone handles a compliment. Charismatic people don’t deflect compliments, nor do they accept them with a canned “thank you.” Instead, they smile warmly and give the person who bestowed the kind remark a little verbal embrace.

Here are some examples:

Beau: “You look beautiful in that new dress.”
Ms. Charisma: “I know you like blue, so I bought it.”

Coworker: “I love your necklace.”
Ms. Charisma: “It belonged to my grandmother. She had great taste like you.”

Manager: “You did a great job on that report.”
Ms. Charisma: “I appreciate you reading it so thoroughly.”

Once you learn to get out of your own head and shine the spotlight on others, you’ll begin to enjoy every compliment as a creative opportunity to make those in your company feel great about themselves, and that is the essence of charisma!

Let me know how it goes.

Caroline

Do you have a problem that’s been on your mind for a while? Send it to: questionforcaroline@gmail.com..