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Dear Caroline,

I’m 33 years old and am looking for a life partner, but I tend to intimidate men.

I’m a very successful realtor, and when I go out on a date and make it clear that I’m 100 percent self-sufficient, plus a little more and don’t need anyone, the men never ask me out again. I think this is ridiculous!

How can I meet men who are more secure?


Dear Eloise,

Do you want to know the truth? The men you’re dating aren’t intimidated. They’re turned off.

Imagine if you dated a man who told you (over dinner) that he already had a stable of women to sleep with and “didn’t need you.” Would you find that enticing or repulsive?

Any man of your caliber who is worth his salt won’t care how much money you earn.

On the flip side, if a man is super interested in your earnings, beware. He’s clearly looking for a meal ticket and a free ride.

Next time you go out on a date, refrain from making strong statements about your financial independence. Just be in the conversation. Don’t mention your money or station in life.

In due time, you’ll learn more about the man, he’ll learn more about you, and ideally, material matters will be secondary, if not even further down on the list.

Here’s to timely transparency in dating,


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