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Dear Caroline,

I’m in a relationship that has potential yet feels stalled. The guy I like talks to me every few days, but we haven’t seen each other in more than three weeks.

I really, really like him. What can I do?

…Besotted Babe

Dear Besotted,

First, let me ask you a few questions:

1) When you say you “talk,” does that simply mean you text, or are you referring to actual face-to-face or voice conversations?

2) If you’re only texting, who initiates the texts? You or him?

The reality is that if a man is interested in you, he’ll make it a priority to jump to the “head of the line” to win out over any potential competition for your heart.

To that end, he’ll be more inclined to phone, less inclined to text and very much motivated to be the first and last person you interact with each day.

If all he’s doing is responding (maybe politely) to your communicative forays, that’s a pretty good indication that your feelings for each other are imbalanced, and you’re trying harder than you should.

The best thing I can advise you to do is take two steps back and wait for him to make a bold move in your direction. If it’s real, you have nothing to worry about by stepping back. No man ever forgets he’s falling in love.

Left alone, these ambiguous situations tend to become very clear very quickly.

If he’s not “The One,” do yourself a favor. The next time a man asks you for your number, look him in the eye and tell him, “Do not text me. Call me. If you text me, I’ll ignore you. We can’t get to know each other through emojis.”

Of course, once the relationship becomes solid — and only then — you can accept and return his texts.

I think that old-fashioned approach will get you better results.

Yours in support of reality over wishful thinking,


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