Dear Caroline,

I recently started seeing a nice guy. I thought he was a perfect gentleman, but the first time I went to his apartment, I saw a side of him that made me nervous. I don’t like the way he barks at Alexa. “Alexa! Lights 0n!” Alex! Dial Dominos Pizza!” “Alexa! Play cool jazz!” “Alexa! Louder!”

I know Alexa is AI, but something about his behavior toward her repulses me. Am I being too sensitive, or is this a red flag?

…Sensitive Gal

Dear Sensitive Gal,

What interesting times we live in! On the one hand, I feel confident telling any woman, “Pay attention to the way a man treats other people because that’s exactly how he’ll end up treating you.” On the other hand, Alexa isn’t a person who expects a “Please” and “Thank You.”

Here’s what I suggest. Next time your new guy starts barking out commands, give him a big playful smile and say, “Poor Alexa. She’s so nice. I wish you wouldn’t yell at her.”

See what happens. If he has a sense of humor and wants to please you, he’ll laugh along and change his tone.

If your remark makes him angry or defensive, that’s all you need to know.

Here’s to testing the waters,

Caroline

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