Since You Asked…

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Dear Caroline,

I’ve been seeing a man for over three years. I’m tired of waiting for a proposal. Today, it occurred to me that since I’ve been taking the lead in this relationship anyway, planning the dates, texting first and so forth, I should totally throw tradition out the window and propose. I mentioned this to my sister, and she was horrified. I don’t know why. If we women talk about believing in equality, I think it’s time for us to walk the walk. What do you think?

 …Progressive Babe

Dear Babe,

As the queen once said to the princess, “Fix your crown, honey. It’s tilted!”

This man may be happy to accept all the attention and effort you’re offering, but based on what you told me, he’s not equally investing in your relationship. If you want equality, he needs to meet you halfway.

Instead of running out to buy a diamond ring and rehearsing the words that will entice him to place it on your hand, kick your feet up and go into radio silence. Don’t text him. Don’t call him. Don’t email him. Don’t drop over to visit him. He may wake up and take the reins; he may fade away into the ether. If he fades away, let him go.

In the meantime, instead of counting the minutes since you’ve heard from him, do some soul-searching about why you think you deserve so little from a man.

Yours truly,


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