Since You Asked…

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Dear Caroline,

I’m a 24-year-old guy. My best friend from college is a woman my age. I have been in love with her for years, but I’m afraid to tell her.

What should I do?


Dear Geraldo,

I suspect you may be harboring an unspoken love because, on some level, you suspect she isn’t in love with you. If she were, it’s safe to say that your relationship would be at a different level by now.

There’s nothing honorable about pretending to be satisfied being “just a friend” — an incredibly nice guy who is always there for her — while you’re harboring secret fantasies and enduring secret disappointments hoping she’ll come around and reciprocate your feelings.

Worse yet, you crave love, but you’re alone, choosing to hide from reality so you can continue to enjoy spending time with her in a manner that enables you to feed your daydreams while saving face.

Sadly, while you’re focused on hiding what a big deal she is to you and examining every encounter for little clues that she may feel the same way, potential partners are passing you by.

If you want real love, you can’t keep this up. It’s time to put your feelings on the table and accept the outcome. If she rejects your romantic interest, don’t take it personally. As a wise relationship coach once said, “You can be the total package, but simply be at the wrong address.”

Wishing you courage.


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